Wednesday, June 9, 2010

the last 10 days & the next 3 weeks

I have applied for around two hundred billion jobs in the last ten days

and

I am trying not to be fatalistic about the whole horrific process of job searching, sending my history deep into the dark black hole of cyberspace, like shutting your eyes and holding your breath and throwing a coin over your left shoulder into a wishing well – that is actually a bottomless pit that sucks in light –

while

at the same time I am attempting to actually do my full-time unpaid job

which

(frankly) I love

(First there is a terrifyingly blank Word document on my computer – blank, blank, blank – and then there is a concept note – and then there is – somehow! – a 50-page proposal – which is then approved and put into PDF – and becomes a signed contract – which then – alchemy! – is suddenly, before you know it, new colleagues and projects and program activities, success stories and schools and psychosocial care and health centers – all from that damn blank Word document. It’s a bit magical.)

but

I only have three more weeks at to finish up the unfinished and to tie up the untied

and

(to be honest) I want to stay.

BUT.

4 comments:

texasinafrica said...

Three weeks - will you still be there for 30 June? I get in on the 28th if all goes according to plan. Which is a big "if," but would love to meet in person if you'll still be around!

Rachel said...

Hopefully! I really hope to get to meet you. Technically, my last day is the 30th, but we aren't allowed to travel on the 30th -- we'll probably be basically locked up. So they will either ask me to leave before or after. I hope after -- it's the 50th! I'd love to be here for it! -- but last year, for example, they evacuated our house to Gisenyi, and I'm sure they wouldn't want to deal with evacuating me since I'll be leaving, anyway. (That said, I'm also pretty sure we won't be evacuated, since absolutely nothing happened last year.) So yes, please, let's plan for coffee!!! :)

Alice said...

Hi Rachel, I don't know you but I just wanted to say you are a hugely talented writer. Seriously, your writing is just beautiful. Keep it coming!

Rachel said...

Thank you very much, Alice! :))) That's really nice of you. I'm over at ilchwl.wordpress.com now...