Tuesday, June 29, 2010

First Day in Lock-Down

Goodbyes are starting. I do not like goodbyes. One of my friends came to say “See ya later” today. We sat by the lake and talked. Then she left. I started to cry, so to feel better, I curled up in bed with two housemates and we watched reruns of Top Chef on a laptop.

The problem with this job is that when your contract ends, you not only lose your work and your office and your desk and your colleagues. You also lose your bedroom and your housemates and your friends and the city you’ve been living in and your daily rituals.

I like excitement. I like some measure of uncertainty. I don’t want any other career. But it’s not easy.

One day I will actually have a salary and so when my contracts end, I will be able to afford a trip to Zanzibar or to Petra or to Thailand to relax, to bookend assignments. Until then, I will be grateful for what I do have. Which is a lot.

It’s good to be sad about losing things, because it means that you have things to lose – and to remember when they are gone.


s said...

life doesnt always start with every thing presented in a platter.You are just starting.So dont be so depressed about leaving.in jobs this is a routine thing.Look at us.I would have changed at least 15 different setups so far,with in the organisation.The best part about all this is that you are not losing friends,but adding.Also moving to a new setup gives you an opportunity to make amends to the shortcoming of earlier exposure.I am sure that you are much better qualified than many of so called permanent staff of UN here and much more serious about the job of serving humanity.So dont get emotional and sentimental about the issue.Be at it and I am sure there are very few things which cant be achieved with persistance.So keep trying.Only regret is that We came to know about it a bit late or something could have been organised.May be some thing better is in store.Best of luck.

PAH said...

Good byes are tough. Sorry you are going through it, but curling up with friends to lessen the pain helps. Although I am sure the rest of your goodbyes will be equally hard, I do hope there are more curling sessions to lesson their stings.
That field you are in is a good field and you are right about all the good things that you gain inspite of all the other sacrifices.
Have a safe rest of the time there and safe trip home.

Rachel said...

Thank you both very much for the notes. They help.